Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
