Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
