I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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