if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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