i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
