My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you win again, gameday.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
