covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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