I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
