Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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