Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
