i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It's shark week go big or go home
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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