she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
