I wish I could punch you in the face.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
