we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you inspire me to be a worse person
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
