Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her

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(415): View more from California

Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Bisexual people are plain selfish.

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(480): View more from Arizona

We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.

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(765): View more from Indiana

He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.

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(217): View more from Illinois

Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.

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(+61): View more from Australia

found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?

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