So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
