Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
