I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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