They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
