Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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