Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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