Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
