i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
