It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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