My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
