dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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