I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize