Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
