Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
