i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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