My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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