but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
did you just send me my own nude
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
