Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He shit in the fireplace
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize