You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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