i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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