If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
ok first of all what the fuck
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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