What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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