We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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