"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm at about main and main street
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
