you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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