So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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