I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
