i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
