I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize