I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
