Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
