a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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