I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
