he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
