i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
