im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
