i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
