I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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