He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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