How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
