i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Are we still banned from the library?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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