hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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