no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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