You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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