My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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