you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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